Friday, February 12, 2010

Another Angel

Our dear friend, Phil Kesler passed away last night after a brave struggle with cancer. We were so blessed to have had him as a friend and our hearts ache for his sweet wife, Heidi and their 3 year old little girl, Eden. Words are hardly adequate to express this loss. Richard sang with Phil for so many years, and last night we listened to Phils beautiful voice as he sang on the Kid Stuff CD. "Sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out strong. Sing of good things, not bad. Sing of happy, not sad." There are many happy times with Phil that we can sing of, but our hearts are indeed sad and we will miss him so much.

There was a time in my life, up until about 10 years ago, where I still believed that my Mom and Dad were super heroes and that they would never grow old, or sick. They could never die. I had never experienced "death" and it was such a far removed concept to me. This last year has been filled with many experiences with death and seeing people who are close to us leave this world prematurely. I now realize how truly mortal we all are and it scares me. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that naive self of mine before I understood how much death is a part of life. I am truly grateful for the knowledge I have of the Plan of Salvation and that I know that someday it will "all be OK", as my Mom put it. Right now it hurts, and we don't understand it, but someday we will and our reunions with loved ones will be so glorious. Our hearts and prayers and love go out to Heidi and Eden and we know that Phil will be watching over them.


Heather said...

Jenny, I'm so sorry. Please tell Richard how very sorry we are for him. Death sucks! I wish that I could go back to that naive state too. Life has always been so perfect for us that it makes it hard to believe that all of this is real and is happening. Sometimes I hate growing up. I love you and I'm sorry this has been such a hard time for you. After reading that book I told you about I am always picturing Mom in the spirit world and all that she must be doing. I'm so sorry. I love you.

Layne said...

That's the very song I was listening to in the car today. It's such a perfect snapshot of everyone singing and laughing like a big family. And Phil's voice is so beautiful. We're lucky to know such incredible people.

Mom M. said...

Jenny..I wasn't in town when your mother passed away..but I can feel your pain. I lost a spouse to cancer, an infant baby to prematurity and both parents. Last night I felt so alone and spent my time talking to a computer and tears flowed all night. You will never forget, but it will get easier. I love VM..they are like part of my family and I hurt really bad now. Lois Madsen (Mike B,'s mom)

Carrie said...

Jenny and Richard,
I'm so sad to hear of Phil's passing. My heart aches for everyone who was close to him. The Voice Male sound will forever miss his silky rich voice. I'm sorry for the world's loss in losing Phil so early. I hope you all find comfort and peace in the Spirit. You're all in my thoughts.

Carrie Douglas Morris

Jill said...

I hope you guys are doing ok. You have already suffered so much this year.

We will miss Phil so much. :-(

Bamamoma said...

Jenny, I want to thank you for this and for the grace that you and your family have shown the past year. You are a great example to me. As you likely know, now is a time of celebration and it is such a joyful experience to hear so many stories and experiences as people share them. I'm sure that as life gets back to normal (and I realize I don't have a normal anymore) things will get more difficult. We'll learn together. We'll progress and, we hope, become more like Phil and your mom in the process. We love you and your family and look forward to seeing you soon.

Daisy Chick said...

Jenny and Richard,
Our prayers and thoughts are with you at this time. We know that Phil is family to all of you. Our hearts are saddened by his loss and the loss you feel. Know of our love for all of you. God bless.

Jyl said...

Jenny you don't know me but I want to say thank you. Phillip and I have literally known each other since birth. He was without question my best friend as we grew up and went through school together. We were in the same ward, same classes. He cried on my front porch when I came down with chicken pox and they wouldn't let him in to see me. He was just sure I had something horrible.

We lost touch over the years but every few years we would cross paths again. I have never forgotten the haunted houses we built, swimming, and playing together.

I too have experienced a lot of loss over the last year. From my grandma, to two of my oldest son's best friends, a family friend and now we are watching as my dad goes through pancreatic cancer.

I am learning to lean on my testimony. Something new for me as I have struggled with it for a while. (I only read the Book of Mormon for the first time 3 years ago) But I am finding peace. It isn't making it easier but it is helping.

I haven't been dealing with my dad's illness very well but in the feelings brought up by Phil's passing I have found the strength in all that I read. The wonderful tributes to my best buddy. Thank you!

Now I have to opportunity to help in that tribute and will be singing with a group at the end of his funeral. I feel so privileged to be able to show him how much he means to me.

Live More Now said...

Oh, I am so sorry to hear about Phil's passing. That is just heartbreaking. There is no getting over a loss like that, but people go forward in their own ways, as you know. I hope his wife and little one are watched over.

Much love to you, Jenny!